South Park: The Beginning
by PoyoKirby
Summary: Cartman farts in class. Kenny pees in plants and Kyle cant talk? The story of the boys we've come to know...when it all first began..in preschool. Final Chapter Up: Butters!
1. 1: Stan

Stans POV.

Stan Meets His first friend.

I couldnt believe it was time already! Im starting pre-school! I remember when I was only 3 and now here i am. 4 years old and about to start the greatest adventure of my whole life thing.

My mommy was crying and saying how fast I grew up.

"Oh Stanly if anyone is mean to you, just tell the teacher and I'll be right over Okay? Dont let anyone be smart to you!"

"Yes mommy." I held my Spiderman lunchbox and put on my blue and red toboggan.

"And if youre mean to anyone mark my words I'll whoop your ass!" She gets mood swings sometimes. I think

its cause theres this time where her pee is red and it makes her moods all funky. I dont know why I think red

pee is pretty cool! Better than regular yellow.

"Go on Stanly. I will right here waiting when you are finished with your day. Bye Sweetie."

She picked me up and got all smoochy-smoochy with me."

"Bye Stanly!" She waved and I walked into the building. It had A big sun on it- It was called "Happy Smiles Academy for young pupils"

Im not a eyeball... I thought. Why do I have to go to school with a bunch of eyeballs?

I saw a lady standing she was surrounded by little kids like me- I guess we werent going to be eyeballs afeter all!

"Excuse me little boy!" The teacher said.

"What?" I said she was talking to me.

"Who are you?"

"My names Stanly Marsh!"

"Oh Stanly! Come weve been waiting for you!"

I runned over there (im using "runned" because its a kids POV)

She led us to a big fancy room with shiny and colorful things everywhere. The teacher told us to sit down and

we all got in a circle. I sat next to some big fat kid.

"Whats your name? " I said to him.

He looked at me. He had a blue and yellow hat on and his cheeks were chubby and red.

"My names Eric." he said.

"Im Stanly!"

"Hi Stan" he said. "Your hat looks like a hat my moms boyfriend has."

"Really?" I said.

"Yeah..well one of them..my mom has a lot of boyfriends. She has a different one spend the night everynight.

I never really meet them cause my mommy always makes me dress up like a mailman or a fireman and I

have to smack his ass with a whip!"

I gasped. "You just said a bad word!"

"What smack?"

"No!" I said. "The _A_ word!"

"Ass?" he said.

"DONT SAY THAT!!" I yelled.

"Is there a problem boys?" the teacher said.

"No!" I yelled.

"Good. The teacher said. "My names Ms.Claridge.. Im 26 years old and I live in Conifer. and I will be your

preschool teacher! K?" She smiled and tilted her head like that cow from Rockos Modern Life.

"Now Today were going to talk about colors! This is a red!" She held up a apple."

"Red is a color. Everybody say that with me..._caaaaaaalllloooorrrrrrr._"

That fat kid pulled a cookie out of his pocket.

"Hey kid I don think we can eat in here untill,"

"Ay! shut up or ill kick you in the nuts!" he said.

"I didnt bring any nuts with me..." I looked in my pockets.

The teacher kept rambling on about colors when everyone heard a loud long sound. Then it got all stinky.

Everyone looked around.

Eric laughed. "Oops!"

Ms. Claridge lookad at Eric.

"Was that you Eric?" she said.

"Yes...Im sorry I farted!" he laughed.

"O you think thats so funny why dont you go sit in the corner!"

"Aw Dammit!" he whipered."

"YOU JUST SAID ANOTHER BAD WORD! YOU SAID DAMMIT!" I yelled. Wait a minute...oops.

"STANLY!" Ms. Claridge yelled. "I will not tolerate that mouth you go to the corner young man."

"Oooo poop." I almost cried as I walked to the corner. By Eric.

"Were bad." he said.

"I know." I did start crying.

"Hey do you wanna be my friend?" he said.

"Really?" I smiled. "Sure! I'd love to have a friend!"'

So me and my new friend stood in the corner untill we waited for the next exiting thing to happen.


	2. 2: Cartman

Chapter 2: Cartman ( BAD GRAMMER CAUSE OF TODDLERS POV)

Nicknames are made!

After the mean teacher letted me and Stan out of the corner, she put us in groups of 4 to make clay thingys.

I was with Stan some yellow haired kid and a boy in a orange jacket.

"Hi!" Stan said to the other kids "Im Stanly!"

"Im Eric." I said not to happy-bappy like Stan was.

"Hello. My name is Leopold." The yellow-haired kid said. "I'll be 4 in 3 weeks!"

"Your only 3?" The orange kid said.

"Yeah..but my mommy says im smart!"

" Neat! My names Kenny!" the orange kid said."

I looked at that yellow kids hair. It bugged me cause It was just a ball of fluff.

"Hey!" I said to him. "Your hair is the color of Butter!" I said.

He looked at his hair.

"Oh...well I guess it is!" he said.

"I dont like the name Leopold thats for fags...Im going to call you...Butters!" I said. It was much better than

Leopold. Dontcha think?

"Butters?" he said. "But Im not-"

"YOUR BUTTERS! NOW SHUT UP OR ILL KICK YOU IN THE NUTS!"

That kid was such a douche he got all scared and ran away. What a faggggg!!!

"Dude whatd you do that for?" Stan said.

"Cause hes a monster!!!" I said. He could be!!!!

"Your weird!!!"

"Attention! Attention!" The teacher clapped her hands and we all looked at her.

"Students! We have another kid joining us today!" She smiled.

"Come on in sweetie!"

A little short guy with a green hat and curly red hair walked in.

"Everyone this is..."She stopped.

"Excuse me...what was your name again?"

He opened his mouth but then closed it bit his lip and frowned.

Then a big old fat ugly woman came on and whispered to something to the teacher.

She nodded and she sayed stuff to her.

"Uh huh...oh...yes...mhhhm...alright thank you Ms.Broflovski." She smiled.

"Kids This is Kyle Broflovski. He is new to our town and you will have to exuse him cause...he cant talk yet."

"HE CANT TALK???" I yelled. This retard cant even talk yet!! Classic!!

The little boy looked all shy at people And be blew air out of his yapper.

"Go work with those boys!" The teacher pointed to us.

"Oh great! We get to work with the retarded kid!"

He runned over to us and I almost runned away but I had the worstest urge to tease this little nutsac.

"Hi!" Stan said when he sat down. Kenny waved too.

Kyle just smiled and tried too hard to talk.

"mmmm GAH!" he said.'

"WHAT???" I yelled. "HOW MUCH OF A RETARD ARE YOU? YOU CANT TALK!" It was fun being mean to him.

I bet I could make him cry!

"You cant talk! You cant talk!" I started singing it to him and I saw his eyes getting watery and his lip shaking.

His pupil got big and shiny and he threw his head back,

"AHHHHH!!!! AHHAHAHAHAHAH!" He started crying. He kicked and screamed and threw things.

"Look what you did Eric!" Stan said.

Uh oh...the teacher was coming...Im gonna get in trouble!!

I didnt want to seem like it was me..

"Kyle! Why would you do that Stan?" I said.

Kyle keeped crying and screaming and he got up and runned to Stan and hugged him.

"Whats wrong?" Stan said.

Kyle just gave him a sad face and pointed to Eric. ERIC? THATS ME!

Poo! Im going to get in trouble. The only way to dodge the punishment is to act like a victim! ( I gots a pretty good vocabulary for a tike dont I?)

I started crying. And then Stan did. Not Kenny.

" I NEED TO GO WEE WEE!!" He yelled. " TINKLE! I'S GOTS TO GO TINKLE OR ELSE ILL EXPLODE! THAT

HAPPENS TO ME SOMETIMES!"

Kenny started running around yelling. "WEE WEE WEE WEE WEE WEE !!"

Kyle crying had started a chain reaction and now everyone was crying.

The poor teacher had to go from kid to kid to stop the crying.

"Kids...please...be quiet!" She sayed softly. "Calm down!" I sawed her face turn red.

"Kids..." Be beginned to say louder. "Be quiet." I think she snapped.

"KIDS SHUT THE HELL UP!" After she yelled that all the cryers stopped. We all shutted uped.

I looked at Kyle.

"YOU CANT TALK!" I loudly whispered.

Stan looked at me.

"Eric your a mean kid! Your very mean! Im going to be friends with Kyle! I'm going to teach him how to talk!"

Kyle smiled.

"Were going to go hang out with the orange kid!" He and Kyle walked away and I sat all by myself.

"Wait!" I quietly said ...All by myself.

"But whos gonna be my f-f-f-friend?"


	3. 3: Kyle

Chapter 2 KYLES POV.

Kyle and Stan meet Kenny.

I wished I could talk so bad! That little fat kid was getting on my nerves!!! Its not my fault I cant talk!

I have so many thoughts and so many urges to say things..I just cant get it out! this is TORTURE!

Well Stan and me walked over to that little orange kid. He was drawing big circles with littler circles in the middle.

" Okay Kyle me and this kid are going to teach you how to talk!"

He leaded me over to the kid and me and him sat down.

"Bwe!" I said. The orange boy turned around real fast and covered his pictures.

"Who the hell are you?" he said.

"Im Stan and This is Kyle...he can't talk"

The orange kid had that "you've gotta be kiddin me"smile on he. He swung his arms behind his back and sat down.

"Okay Kyle...Well I'm Kenny McCormick...can you say Kenny?" He tilted his head and I looked to see why.

I bit my lip. I knew how to say it but I dont know how to get it out! Once again this is torture!

"Grghhh!" I squeaked. Thats the best I could do. Kenny...it was hard to say!

"HA! Your hopeless!" Kenny laughed.

Stan looked at me. "Your gonna make him cry!" He said.

"Well this little kid seems worthless to me!" Kenny got up and tried to walk away but Stan grabbed him by the arm and he gave him a dirty look.

"Hey! You need to apolgize to my friend!" he said. pointing to me. I jumped.

"Phrpppp!" I squealed trying to get up but I just fell right on my booty.

"What are you talking about weirdo?" He looked at me funny and scoffed.

"I aint apologizing to that freak! He can't even talk!" Kenny said.

I felt the tears rushing up again. I felt like I wanted to punch his face.

But then he smiled all devilishly and laughed a little.

" Hey! You wanna hear somethin funny?" he said.

I looked at Stan. He shrugged. "Sure."

Kenny got upand whispered loudly "I like girls with big fat titties I like girls with big vagina!"

What? Whats a vagina? Stans mouth was wide open. It musta meant something bad!

Then he yelled louder.

"I HAVE GOT A 10 INCH PENIS USE YOUR MOUTH IF YOU WANNA CLEAN IT!"

Kenny jumped in front of us and we both fell.

Stan took me by the hand "Cmon Kyle this guys crazy!" I looked back at him.

" Someday I'll be old enough to stick my dick up Britneys butt!"

Kenny sang that and spun around in cricles. It was weird! Who's Britney?

Me and Stan got up to run away when I tripped over a box of marbles and fell on my face.

Stan and Kenny looked at me. I lifted my head up and didnt even know what to do. I looked around.

Then something happened. "Ow!" I said. I tried to get up.

"You Bastard!" I said. I looked ar- wait a minute.._ I said?_ Oh my God! I just said something! I said "Ow you bastard!" Stan smiled.

" Kyle you just said your first word!!!" He hugged me and we spun around singing,

" you bastard! you bastard!" Then the fat kid came over. He gave us a confused look.

"Hey did you just say something?"

I smiled teasefully at him.

"You bet your butt I did!" He frowned and me and Stan were all singing merrily and cheerfully as we

celebrated my first word! I guess Pre-school will be a piece of cake thanks to My new friends!


	4. 4: Kenny

Chapter 4: Kenny

I think I mighta scared those boys away...Oops. Oh well they were fags anyway. That little turd couldnt even

talk! What a weenie!

I finally continued my drawing I was so rudley interupted by when I heard the teacher.

She was yelling out someones name.

"Leopold! Leopold! Where are you Sweetie! We cant find you! Come on out Leo!"

I think some one named Leopold was losted.

I saw that fat kid getting yelled at by the teacher.

"WHERE IS HE?"

"Who? The kid said.

"Leopold!"

"Leopold?"

"Yes! Do you even know him."

The fat kid tapped on hid chin. "Leopold..Leopold...Oh you mean Butters!"

"Butters?" The teacher said. I remember him now! It was that kid with the poofball of hair and had the

squeaky voice! He was weird! He was missing!

"I dont know where Butters is! Sorry come back another time!" He walked away.

"GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE DEMON!" The teacher chased him around the room. It was funny!

But then I rememberded...I had to piss! REALLY BAD! I have for some time now!

I runned around and tried to find a potty. I ran to the front door.

It was locked! that bitch locked us in! what'd she wanna do rape us or something?

OH darn! I could feel the pee beginning to run down my leg! O Spit! I need a toilet!

Ah! Over yonder I see..A Fern! A beatiful plant! Im just gonna go piss on it!

I runned over to the flower pulled down my britches and let all it come out.

It felt _goooooooooooooood!_

"Ah!!! Hey what are you doing!"

I heard someone say something in the bush thing.

"Huh?" I said. "Whos in there?"

A head poked up. "Its me..." It was that kid!

"Leopold!"

Leopold...sounded familiar...OH YEAH!

"Hey! Everyones lookin for you did you know that?"

He shook his head. "No...I di-didnt..."

"Why you behind the bushes? Now you smell like my peepee!"

I mean seriuosly..I mean...does he wanna live in the trees like Tarzan? What a freak!

He got upped and brushed himself off. He smelled bad..kinda like...MY PEEPEE!

Maybe I could gross this little guy out too!

"Hey Butters!"

"What?"

"Do you know what a blow-job is?"

He shrugged. "Is it A fun job?"

"for some people...yes."

"What is it!"

Wait...was I supposed to explain this to him? Greeeeaaaat!

"Come here!" I whispered in his ear what it was.

His face got scrunched up.

"AHH! EWWW! SICK SICK AH MY GOD! YOU LITTLE PERVERT!"

"LEOPOLD!"

"huh?" Butters looked over and the teacher waws running over to him.

"We found you! Oh thank God! I cant go back to Prostitution if I lose another kid! Oh thank God!"

She picked him up and everyone stared.

"Kenneth did you find him?"

"Uhhh...I think so!"

"Thank you Kenneth! You get One tootsie roll!"

She tossed a little candy at me.

"What? A tootsie Roll? I help find Professor Nonsense and ALL I GET IS A FUCKIN TOOTSIE ROLL?"

I threw it on thw ground.

"LISTEN HERE YOU DRIED UP BLOODY VAGINAL CRUST! I HELP FIND A MISSING PERSON AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME! I

WANT TO SEE YOU B-"

She picked me up.

"Now Now Kenneth lets not get to carried away now."

"Goddammit my names Kenny!" I kicked her but she just walked me down the room.

Leopold seemed to be just fine without any thank yous are "I love you Kenny! Kiss me in the Balls!"

School Sucks Ass.


	5. 5: Butters

Butters

Oh gee...I think that orange kid is real steamed at me now...aw hamburgers! That pee on me is so smelly and sticky!

"Hey Butters!" It was Stan.

"Oh...h-h-hey Stan!" I said.

"Hey have you seen that fat kid anywhere?"

"YOU BASTARDS!" Kyle yelled.

Was that all he could say? I heard he said his first words...

"You...wa-why?" I rubbed my hands together...darn my bad habits!

"Cause me and Kyle are gonna kick his ass for being mean to him."

"YOU BASTARDS!" He yelled with a devilous smile. Devilous...Is that even a word?...It is now! ...wait nevermind I might ger grounded...

"Oh...Well I havent seen him But he's in dutch for losing me!" I said.

Stan looked up. Then squinted one eye and tilted his head to the side.

"TEACHER I TINKLED MYSELF!"

"YOU BASTARD!"

They whent running off into the distant. Or Distance...whichever makes more sense I suppose...

I was looking at a really neat-o lookin toy So i ran over to get it but someone jumped in my way.

"Going somewhere?" It was Eric.

"Oh...eh...hehe...No! Whats wrong?"

He cracked his fist knuckes.

"You just got me timeout for 2 minutes...Now your gonna pay..."

He squinted his eye at me.

"Aw...Eric...you're not gonna...hurt me are you?"

He made some sort of innocent smile.

"Of course not Leopold..Why would I hurt such a little angel like you?"

I felt confused...but flattered so I smiled.

"NOT!" He jumped on me and started pulling my hair and hitting me.

"OW! OW! AH!" I didnt want to...I tried no to! Aw nutsac im crying!

"Hey look! someones beating up someother someone!" a kid yelled.

The teacher screamed and ran for us.

It hurt so bad he was biting me ans scratching me and hitting me in that place that I cant say or else I'll get grounded...

Then Eric was magically lifted off if me.

"Eric! Your in big trouble now!"

"WHAT? IT WAS THAT LITTLE PUSSYS FAULT!"

"Eric! Im calling your mother!"

His face whent blank. "No..NO! ANYTHING BUT THAT NOT MY MOMMY! NO!"

Then he started crying.

I brushed my self off and looked up and saw Stan Kyle and Kenny before me.

"Hey! Were sorry He's such a meanie!" Stan said.

"YOU BASTARDS!" You can probaly guess who that was.

Kenny just smiled at me like he didnt care.

"Bu I kinda like that kid!" He said.

"Who Cartman?" Stan said.

"YOU BASTARDS!"

"I thought his name was Eric?" Kenny said.

"Cartman is easier to say!"

We all just sat and talked when Eric came back.

_uh oh._

_"_Hey you guys Hows it goin?"

We all tilted our heads in confusion.

"Aint...you in t-trouble for hollerin at me and hittin me?"

"Yes. But luckily my mom is a total lush so I have nothing to worry about. All she'll do is say, 'Oh! Poopykins made a NoNo!' Then she'll

make me some delicious pot pie!"

"Oh!" I said in atsonishment. I dont know if I said that word right...

"Hey..." Stan started. "You know what?"

"What?" Kenny said.

"We should all be best friends and grow up together and gp on all kinds of adventures!"

"Like the rugrats?" Isaid.

"NO NOT LIKE THE RUGRATS ITS SO MUCH COOLER THAN THAT!" Stan yelled.

"We can all be friends...except for..Butters cause he screwed me over."

"Wait...what? I can be your guys friend?"

"YOU BASTARDS!" Kyle yelled.

"Yeah Butters your not very fun." Kenny said. "Your a pussy."

_Im not a pussy._

"Oh..gee...guys..I guess you dont have to be my friend if you dont want me too."

They all just looked at me.

"Okay!" They all began to march off when...SWEET JESUS ALIVE! A piece of lighting equiptment fell on Kenny!

"AH!" It crushed him like a bug and blood gushed out everywhere! It was terrible!

We all watched in amazement and the teacher screamed and fainted.

Stan wiped blood of off him. He looked around then said,

"OH MY GOD! THEY KILLED KENNY!"

The Kyle jaw dropped and added of course,

"YOU BASTARDS!"

Then Cartman just looked up and shook his head.

"This whole place is messed up! Screw you guys I'm Goin Home!"

Everyone left the building and I was trying to escape but I couldnt pass everyone.

So I just walked back over to dead Kenny.

"Sorry about your life Kenny."

Then...I heard the voice of the Devil.

"Leopold!" My father cried.

"Dad! My names Butters now! And Today was just-" I was interupted.

"Butters? Did you do this? Look what you've done you've ran everyone out you made the teacher faint and..gasp You killed Kenny!"

I jaw dropped. "No dad sir! I didnt do this it was ...It was...Im innocent!"

I cant believe he thinks I did all this! He always does...and you know what that means!!!

"Butters!" He said. "YOUR GROUNDED!"

Aww Hamburgers!

The End!


End file.
